Since the dawn of time we have been misled, not this time by a secretive Kabul or some Masonic collective, but by our own simple misunderstandings. You see, for absolutely no logical reason for hundreds, no, thousands of years we have have wrongly assumed the forbidden fruit to be the apple, when in reality it is the banana!
Heresy you cry, but wait, I have brought my proofs, here before you now to consider and keep me from the stake.
Firstly let us absolve the apple; poor, innocent, red, and delicious the apple has done nothing but serve us and this is the thanks it gets. Well no more I say, now is the time for justice.
Cruel fate that the apple be chosen as the most destructive fruit in the universe and that throughout time this wild accusation, perpetuated by the great artists from every era. Why, oh why, do we trust this,sense of sight, above all others, even the common. We have been fooled for the last time.
So banana, what do you say for yourself? Can you deny it? Of course not. Oh no, your time has come.
1. The banana is not even a fruit, it is a herb that deceives us, as it eternally has.
2. It’s strong ties with monkeys and the theory of evolution, a theory which rips at the seams of all religions.
3. Left long enough the banana will turn black, black is the colour of evil!
4. Too much banana will kill you.
5. Banana trees actually creep, and will, over time, move to an entirely new area. That’s just plain freaky.
So there you have it, case closed. The next time you are thinking about original sin, remember the banana.