My dream

In order to be extremely boring I will tell you about the dream I had last night. I know there is very little in the world quite as boring as listening to someone else discussing their dreams, so here it goes.

The first half of my dream was all well and good, involving lots of events I can’t mention on this group. Then for some unknown reason the latter part of my dream required me to fill a fish tank which contained one evidently very important goldfish. As I tried to fill the fish tank with water it became more and more damaged and there was less and less water and the fish looked close to death. When this happened I transferred the fish to a new vessel, which appeared to be a dreamy concoction of glass and a carrier bag. Alas as the fish found its new home,this too began to deteriorate. I was not in a panic or fluster and my movements were all measured and mundane, I did not appear to particularly care if the fish died or not, I just carried on my task. My dream ended by me filling a new vessel with fish and water with the same consequence.

When I awoke I spent some time analysing how I could have better dealt with the task, but with no great conclusions.

Fun, Short

Move over symbolic apple

Since the dawn of time we have been misled, not this time by a secretive Kabul or some Masonic collective, but by our own simple misunderstandings. You see, for absolutely no logical reason for hundreds, no, thousands of years we have have wrongly assumed the forbidden fruit to be the apple, when in reality it is the banana!

Heresy you cry, but wait, I have brought my proofs, here before you now to consider and keep me from the stake.

Firstly let us absolve the apple; poor, innocent, red, and delicious the apple has done nothing but serve us and this is the thanks it gets. Well no more I say, now is the time for justice.

Cruel fate that the apple be chosen as the most destructive fruit in the universe and that throughout time this wild accusation, perpetuated by the great artists from every era. Why, oh why, do we trust this,sense of sight, above all others, even the common. We have been fooled for the last time.

So banana, what do you say for yourself? Can you deny it? Of course not. Oh no, your time has come.

1. The banana is not even a fruit, it is a herb that deceives us, as it eternally has.

2. It’s strong ties with monkeys and the theory of evolution, a theory which rips at the seams of all religions.

3. Left long enough the banana will turn black, black is the colour of evil!

4. Too much banana will kill you.

5. Banana trees actually creep, and will, over time, move to an entirely new area. That’s just plain freaky.

So there you have it, case closed. The next time you are thinking about original sin, remember the banana.


Life of Damien

Kinda like a diary, with the exception, that, I guess I want people to read it. Which I suppose is quite egotistical, as it seems to suggest that my life is worth taking time out of your busy schedule to read about. Which in turn might suggest that my life is more important than yours. So here’s the kicker, to me it is, to you it is not, wait I can jusitfy this I think. Firstly, ¬†Unless we are like, super humble, selfless givers ( which I am not ) we are going to value our lives’ over the lives’ of others, this is natural. I think even an atheist and a theist would agree on that being the response of our nature, the theist might go on to add that we should strive to reach a place where we can value the lives of others over our own. I’m pretty sure that would be where that brittle tryst would end. Secondly, I can assure you that this took me a lot longer to write, than for you to read, so in that sense the scales of justice might just be restored to an acceptable equalibrium of self worth. Well my plan is to keep these short, and maybe occasionally sweet, in the hope that a 2 minute read might entice more people to read it. Also then it don’t take so long to write, they call that a win, win, whoever they are.